


Sometimes we take chances

by ifreet



Category: due South
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-17
Updated: 2007-11-17
Packaged: 2017-10-10 09:18:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/98075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifreet/pseuds/ifreet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Ray hated that look. His brief adventure in Florida had been fueled, in part, by the need to get away from that look and his replacement's long shadow.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes we take chances

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a pinch-hit for the Angst/Romance round of ds_match, to the prompt, "Not a plan, exactly--more like a strategy." Many thanks to jamethiel_bane, nos4a2no9 and secretlybronte of [ds_team_angst](http://community.livejournal.com/ds_team_angst/profile) for betaing and general helpfulness.

Ray double checked the number on Frannie's note and tucked it in a pocket before knocking. All in all Benny's new place was a magnitude better than the old one on Racine. The hallway was clean and trash-free. The door didn't sound hollow or shake under his hand; it even had a decent lock. It was hard to believe that rattrap was gone--"burned down," Frannie had informed him while giving him the you should know this look. He hated that look. His brief adventure in Florida had been fueled, in part, by the need to get away from that look and his replacement's long shadow. In hindsight, getting involved with the guy's ex-wife had not been the best way to do that.

The door opened. "Benny."

"Ray!" Ray'd clearly surprised him, but Benny recovered quickly, stepping out into the hall to gather him into an embrace. Ray was startled to be on the receiving end, but that didn't stop him from hugging back, tucking his face into a soft fisherman's sweater so ratty a real fisherman would be embarrassed to wear it. When Benny released him, he kept his hands fastened on Ray's shoulders, as if Ray might vanish if he let go.

"It's good to see you, Ray."

"Good to be seen. Are you going to invite me in?" Ray teased.

Benny ducked his head a little, hand coming up to eyebrow in an achingly familiar gesture. Before he answered, a voice called from further within the apartment. "Fraser? Who's at the door?"

Christ. It was that guy. Stanley Kowalski. He tore his eyes away from Benny and noticed the sheer amount of stuff in the room behind him: actual furniture, clutter, _party lights_. No way it all belonged to Benny. Frannie couldn't have told him about this? She couldn't have maybe given him some kind of warning?

Kowalski chose just that moment to enter from another room, looking annoyed. "Oh, it's you."

"Yeah, nice to see you, too, Stanley." He knew his expression said it was anything but.

"S. Raymond Kowalski. Ray." He actually pulled out his wallet, flipped it open to his id and jabbed at it. "Why is that so hard to remember?"

"Whatever, Sta--" He caught sight of Ben's face and stopped dead. He looked miserable. Ray felt like a jerk, but there was no way he could surrender his name, too. He cleared his throat. "Whatever, Kowalski."

Kowalski grinned, in a tooth-baring way, but since Benny started smiling again, it wasn't so bad.

  
***

Benny had tossed them out of the kitchen, claiming that clean up would 'proceed more smoothly without their interference.' Since there couldn't possibly be that much clean up involved in take-out Chinese, even if Benny _had_ insisted on real dishes, Ray suspected he was trying to throw the two of them together. Throughout the meal, he'd seemed determined that they would learn to like each other with just a little more exposure and perhaps one more story. Ray wasn't entirely convinced, but he and Kowalski managed to carry on a semi-polite conversation even without their designated referee.

Eventually, the glugging of the sink signaled the end of the dishes, and Ben joined them. As he passed behind Kowalski, he dropped a hand to his shoulder. Kowalski reached up and squeezed it absently, still talking about the Sox like anyone cared. Ray half-smiled but dropped his eyes to his water glass. That touch, like a dozen before it, went beyond friendly. He was glad, mostly, that Benny wasn't trying to hide this from him, but it did make him uncomfortable. Not that he thought it was wrong--he was all out of stones to throw there. But every witnessed touch was a reminder that, even if Benny hadn't replaced him as a friend, Kowalski had become something more than that. And it was lonely on the outside.

Ben sat beside him on the couch, so close the cushions sagged and their shoulders bumped. He managed to feign interest in Chicago baseball teams for almost a whole minute. "Well, I for one think the Bears could go all the way."

"That's football, and I know you know that, so quit trying to change the subject." Kowalski's tone was exasperated, but his smile was warm. Too warm for company.

"Speaking of changing the subject." Ray set his glass down and sat forward to begin the dance of the graceful exit. "Thanks for dinner; it was great. But I should be going."

"No."

"No?" He looked at Benny in surprise, who had turned away to have an entire silent conversation with Kowalski.

"No.  Stay," Kowalski answered for Benny. Kowalski slouched down in his seat, the very picture of nonchalance. "We'd like you to stay."

There was a peculiar emphasis on the word. Benny nodded, but stiffly, and he was slightly flushed, and that more than what Kowalski had said--or rather, not said -- gave meaning to the word. 'Stay' didn't mean have another drink, talk until almost morning, crash on the couch. 'Stay,' apparently, meant sex.

"You're serious? You're--that's crazy." He felt the slight shift of Benny tensing, a space appearing between their shoulders. He would have backed off; he was already backing off. Kowalski, though, he sat forward, set his elbows on knees, and leaned right into Ray's space. Only the hands fiddling with the neck of his beer bottle gave away any nervousness. Ray found it reassuring that Kowalski wasn't quite as cool and casual as he wanted to look.

"Hey." The soft tone surprised Ray into looking up from his hands, and, yeah, he wasn't really so casual at all. There was something intent and arresting in his expression. "Undercover is crazy. Moving a thousand miles away? That was crazy. Working with him--?" Benny made an indignant noise. "That's crazy. This can be the easy part."

Later, Ray would think that there were a million retorts to that, some even rational. But at the time, as Kowalski reached for him and Ben edged closer until they pressed together from shoulders to hips to knees, he couldn't think of one.

***

Benny had dropped off to sleep immediately afterwards. Ray was still drifting when the mattress dipped. Kowalski got up, scooped up his jeans, and slipped out. Benny mumbled but didn't wake. After a moment of debate, Ray slipped out from the warm cocoon of the covers, too. He found his pants and kept hunting until his hand encountered the cool cotton of his shirt, too. He glanced back at the bed. Benny slept on, though he'd sprawled out and taken up all the available space.

Ray found Kowalski in the living room, sitting in the window that opened to the fire escape, a cigarette in hand.

"You smoke?"

He glanced over his shoulder. The streetlights cast his face into unreadable shadow. "Not much. Fraser hates the smell. Don't tell him, alright?"

Ray shrugged and walked over to lean against the other side of the window. Benny would figure it out on his own. Or not. He didn't really care about the cigarette. "Are you having second thoughts?"

"What?" Kowalski sounded honestly surprised. He scrubbed his free hand through his hair, making it stand up in all directions. "Oh. I'm just up after sex. Wired. Always have been. It used to drive--" He cut himself off with a cough. "Anyway, I didn't mean to wake you."

"I wasn't asleep." The street below was quiet, though the sound of more distant traffic echoed up on the slightly cool breeze. Ray suppressed a shiver, but Kowalski didn't seem to mind. "This is weird."

Kowalski took a drag off the cigarette. The flaring cherry illuminated a sharp glance. He exhaled slowly--buying time or savoring, Ray couldn't tell. "Good-weird or weird-weird?"

"Benny's involved. So both."

Kowalski smiled, a flash of white in the dim. "It's never boring around Fraser, that's for sure."

He snorted. "Tell me about it. If we weren't digging through dumpsters, we were scaling buildings."

"And endangering our lives in wildly bizarre ways."

"From what I've heard, that wasn't all Benny."

Kowalski extinguished the butt on the windowsill and dropped it into a rusting coffee can on the escape. It landed with a hiss. Ray would lay odds that he wasn't fooling Fraser at all; he'd known sneakier smokers as a teen. Kowalski dug in his pocket and pulled out a partial roll of candy. As he shredded more wrapper away, the sickly-sweet smell of mint wafted up.

"Want one?"

"A pocket lint-coated mint. Hm, let me think about it."

"Your loss." Kowalski popped one in his mouth, then stood and closed the window. "Come on. Fraser'll be upset if he wakes up alone."

  
***

Things were more awkward in the light of day. Benny and Kowalski moved easily around each other in their morning routines, but every time Ray turned around he knocked into one of them. It was almost a relief when Kowalski's phone turned up missing. With all those kids running around Ma's, finding lost things had become a specialty of his.

"Where is it, where is it, where is it," Kowalski chanted not quite under his breath. Ray ignored the soundtrack as he systemically searched the living room.

Benny walked out from the bedroom with the phone in his hand. Of course he'd found it. "If you'd simply plug it into the charger when you come in, we wouldn't go through this every--"

Kowalski kissed him, cutting off the lecture before it built up steam. He took the phone and tried turning it on. The phone emitted a sad beep and died. Kowalski shot him a rueful smile. "Sorry. Guess I'll charge it at the station."

Benny all but rolled his eyes, then turned to Ray. "What are your plans for the day?"

"I was going to baby-sit for Frannie for awhile. Not that she needs the help with Ma around, but I don't lecture as much."

"That sounds very nice."

"It sounds boring. Remember how badly I wanted that medical leave?"

"Yes."

"Well, I take it back. At this point, I'm getting nostalgic for paperwork."

Benny clasped his shoulder and fixed him with a sincere, understanding look.

"You're just feeling sorry for yourself," Kowalski interrupted. "Get off your ass and find something to do."

"Ray!"

Ray laughed. "Jeez, why don't tell me what you really think."

"I think we'll see you tonight." He stated it confidently, but his raised eyebrows made it a question.

Ray thought about it. "Yeah. I'd like that."

***

He'd gotten to the hospital as quickly as he could. First, though, he'd had to break the news to Ma, then again to Tony when he heard the commotion. Then he'd had to convince them to stay home with the kids, at least until Frannie came back. After all, Benny was in good hands, and there was nothing they could do for Kowalski. He'd escaped with a promise to call with any news, good or bad, leaving Ma crying like she'd really lost her son.

All that rushing, and now he was stuck in limbo. Hospital waiting rooms occupied a special level of hell. A peach-walled, antiseptic-smelling hell, full of chairs designed for ease of cleaning instead of sitting and supposedly well-intentioned people who couldn't--or wouldn't--tell him a damn thing. The nurses couldn't update him on Benny's condition. The police couldn't tell him any details of what had happened, citing the on-going investigation. Welsh at least seemed apologetic about it.

Which left him nothing to do but wait and try not to think until a doctor came out and told the investigating detectives that Fraser was awake and could answer questions. A nurse told him that Mr. Fraser had been moved to a private room and could receive visitors once the police were done. Ray nodded and asked for directions to the vending machines. As he left the room, he saw Welsh giving him the eye, but he didn't say anything which was as good as permission.

Ray circled around, coming up to the door to Benny's room from the other direction. He opened it the slightest crack on its hospital-quiet hinges, then leaned against the wall, folded his arms, and listened.

"... and we followed them into the factory." Benny sounded wrecked. He knew, or someone had told him.

"We split up when Bruce and Jennings left the production floor. Detective Kowalski took the near entrance to the offices, that the suspects had just gone through. I continued along the edge of the factory floor to the far door, which seemed likely to put me in position to cut off their retreat."

"You had a plan?"

"Not a plan, exactly -- more like a strategy."

A soft, disbelieving snort at that. Ray's hand clenched against his arm.

"Detective," Welsh barked.

"Please continue, Constable." Ray really didn't like his tone.

"I'm afraid there's not much more I can tell you. The door was unlocked. The fluorescent lights were half turned-off, no doubt due to the late hour, but it was immediately clear there was not a clear line of sight between the doors. I moved forward, hoping the cubicles opened onto a straight corridor further in. I was struck from behind." He lapsed into silence.

"You didn't you see your attacker?"

"No."

"Hear anything?"

"No, my ears were ringing from the production floor."

"So you can't say for certain that it was either Bruce or Jennings?"

"It hardly seems likely-- no. No, I can't say with certainty."

The detective sighed. "Thank you, Constable."

Ray ducked into the neighboring room, which fortunately was empty of anyone but the poor slob asleep in the bed furthest from the door, surrounded by machines that clicked and beeped rhythmically. The door to the other room closed with a firm click that wanted to be a slam.

"Detective Turner, do you make a practice of antagonizing witnesses, or is this a special occasion?"

"I do when they get one of our guys killed." Christ. He slumped against the wall. He'd known Benny was going to blame himself no matter what, but what was he supposed to do if Benny was right?

Ray remembered to circle back around the long way and even to stop at the vending machine. The nurse guided him back to Benny's room. He was asleep. He looked like crap.

Ray sat in the chair beside the bed, unwrapped a mint, and waited for him to wake again.


End file.
